Friday, August 6, 2010

A Poem: The Fall of Almet

This poem was an experiment. I haven't really written any poem like this in the past, so I would really like feedback. If you would just leave a comment, it would be greatly appreciated. Tell me whether you liked it (or hated it), if you enjoyed it (or not), whether you think it was well written (or a disaster), or whatever crosses your mind.

The Fall of Almet

Eyes that glitter
Like emeralds
Solid determination
Like the rock beneath his feet

Glowing, cold steel
Gleaming in the darkness
A mighty blade

He faces the creature
The monster of the deep
A minion of the darkness
Never before defeated

The bones
Of those who have come before
Cover the land
Too many to number

The Dead One
Raises his gruesome head
Facing the one who has come to challenge

"Why do you come, foolish one?"
A voice like death itself

"I have come to end terror, end darkness."

"Even once I am gone, the darkness will live on.
For as long as there is light, there will be dark.
It is the way of the world."

"Yes but mayhaps, the light will last that much longer.
Mayhaps the light will hold that much more sway."

Fire. Brimstone.
Darkness. Light.
Blood. Sweat.
Man. Monster.

The battle was long and great
Lasted many days
It snowed smoke
Hailed ash

Fangs locked with steel
Talons with bone

At long last
Lumen came down, striking the fatal blow
The beast was smote from the mountain
Crashing into the great lake

Almet sank through the waters
Never to rise again

The sun burst from behind the black clouds
The barren land was illuminated with its glow

The man gazed in satisfaction
In wonder

As the world bloomed into life once more


  1. I really liked this poem, and you did well in writing this type of genre. You picked great words to describe and display your "story" poem, and because of that I understood the meaning. I thought it was great!

  2. ok so i like it a lot.....i think it's one of your better writings....maybe just because i like this kind of epic battles genre

  3. I think this is good! I like how it's different from most poems. It's unique and it's always hard to write something different. That alone deserves quite some credit.Other than that I agree with Jessica, a phenomenal choice of words that makes allows you to practically see the story infront of you. It's mysterious, which makes the poem attractive, but yet it's clear enough to keep you from getting confused.You also have a very different way of arranging your words- I mean the way you lay it out. I tried looking for a pattern, but couldn't find one. I'm not sure if I like that or not or if it has any affect on the poem.
    Last but not least, (whew this is getting long)I really like the last 5 lines. They're excellent! Even if someone didn't like the poem, once they got to those lines, a smile would still form on their face. So overall, a great job. You've got talent. I like this quite a bit!

  4. I think everyone else has said it all already! =D It was good, not a disaster (far from it in fact) but not one of my favorites of yours. But that's just me personally.

    I liked the way it was a story. That was very cool. I like very much what it's about, or, what I think it to be about anyways.. Like I said, it was good!

  5. This is exquisite.
    - Favourite:
    "The sun burst from behind the black clouds
    The barren land was illuminated with its glow"
    Perfect description.