Sunday, May 16, 2010

A Poem: Can't Give Up

So this poem is one I wrote and entered into the poetry contest at Whitman. I put it in the Devotional category. It didn't place or anything, which didn't really surprise me, because this isn't one of my favorites and I don't think it's that good. It's about how even when God seems far away from us, we can't give up. We need to keep on trying, and keep on searching for him. The beginning starts off talking about how amazing he is, and how men could never compare to him. Anyways, here it is:

Can't Give Up

The flower petals
Float past my face
Their sweet scent
Tickles my nose

I inhale
Their fragrance
Blissful euphoria
Takes me in its hold

Amazing that the most simple
Of all God's creation
Can bring me more delight
Than all the grandeur of Man's

The smallest bug
More intricate
Than Man's
Greatest super computer

How is that
To tell you
That Man cannot compare
With God in the slightest?

Where is God now?
I cannot sense
His presence
I need it now

But he seems
So far away
Too distant
For me to reach

Is it time
To surrender?
I just want to lie down
And never get up

I can't give up
I will keep trying
To become more like him

It's hard
That's for sure
But with his help
And by his grace

If I try my hardest
I may succeed

© 2010 by Nathaniel Magnuson

1 comment:

  1. I like it. I know you can't suggest changes to poetry, as it is an artistic expression...but (why do people say, "I know you can't..." but then go on to do what they just said they know you can't do?) just comment on the content at the very end, I like the idea of keeping trying to become more like him, and that it is with his help and by his grace, but then I'm not sure how I feel about the "If I try my hardest I may succeed" ending. I think sometimes that it's actually a matter not of trying harder, but of letting go (which is different than giving up - I mean, sort of leaving it to God); because I think we tend to strive in our own efforts, which does not "get us there" in the end; but we need to learn to strive by God's power at work in us, or to let go and let God do His work, carry us along...if that makes any sense. So I think I would like it better if it ended, "It's hard / That's for sure / But with his help / And by his grace / I will keep on" or something like that...

    Keep writing - I love it!